Life. This is it. What “now” looks like. Finding God right here. Higher ground, right here. All the light I’ll ever need, right here too. Breathing in then out again. And writing about it. AS IF anybody cares. I care. And that’s all that needs to matter in this here little life of mine, sitting perched upon this stool of mine. This IS the job I agreed upon – to show up and write things down so that you may be free to show up in your life as you agreed upon before you came here.
6:45am sunrise-NOT from the luscious bluffs of Point Dume in Malibu
Thank you Mom and Dad for bringing me along with love most every step. Thank you Jess and Aaron for choosing me and making it so easy to bring you along with love most every step.
5:44am Sunrise-NOT from 59th Street at Edgemar in Los Angeles.
I am grateful for this mystery You have set for me, not to solve, not to fix, but to illuminate, to bring even a little bitty bit of light to.
5:44 sunrise-NOT at Point Dume in Malibu
Interesting is as interesting does, not so much what interesting thinks
5:46am sunrise from the magnificent bluffs of Point Dume
HOME SWEET HOME
Who’d-a-thunk I’d have such a magnificent home when I was a kid. If someone told me I’d get to live in “Hollywood” like Aunt Luana – my little jaw would have dropped at the very thought. Yet here I am, broke like Aunt Luana, living the dream. Sorta. I wouldn’t have cared one bit that I’d be renting one room in somebody else’s house. And really it’s quite all right by me, except when I get scared that is. But what if I “owned” my home, as I used to, saddled with a mortgage and tons of debt, as I used to have. No thanks. I am free and so flexible. And having given up so much entrapment, I have learned that Spirit truly does have my back. That I am home wherever God is which is EVERYWHERE and ANYWHERE. This side of the veil and oh the “other” side too. Straightened up on my stool then leaned back for a stretch and touched another human being. One who worries my same worries – in Spanish. One who prays for more $$ and less fear.
5:46am sunrise from Mar Vista
Maybe it’s just about finding the young in me/in ourselves. Not to be young or old but rather both young and old. My lifelong struggle with duality. Nothing new to be heard from me. Perhaps there is no new. Yes there is, with transformation all is new. Mind goes to sorting – An “early” experience at Hansen seeing the walls of file drawers holding paper that would never ever get read. That evenwhen we needed something, we’d simply call the company for it. We could seek anything we needed when we needed it. And I know his is life. That we can get what we need when we need it. Not a moment before.
5:47am Sunrise from 59th Street in Los Angeles
Writing half a page of reasons and excuses….enough? See that there’s never enough though in Spirit, there’s always enough. More than enough.
5:47am sunrise from Marine at 4th Street in Santa Monica.
Don’t read it back now. Let it flow now. Need never look to the past for inspiration. As “My” movie lies tucked under my pillow waiting to be called forth from the dream realm where it was created. It is simple really, living life in the present – the only place anything can live. Everything alive lives in the present – the right now and now and now.
5:47am sunrise over LA from Mar Vista.
Sitting at Starbucks trying to write and rehearse how it should go – instead of breathing to let the Spirit flow through this speck of a Darlene unto this page, just letting Spirit flow through me and into my very life.
5:49am sunrise at the Malibu Pier
No need to worry about what to post. Something is arising as something may have arisen already. Huh? Embrace the slips, Glimpse the perfect in imperfection.
5:49am sunrise at the Malibu Pier
Now to step forward and step up whenever, if ever, the chance arises, as it surely will. And I am grateful for all the step-up’s I may accomplish in this lifetime as I grow old-NOT, rather, as I continue to grow.
5:49am sunrise in Mar Vista
Wondering why I want to continue in that toxic environment where it seems I can do no right. Because it’s just me thinking I’m not enough, as I have all my life. And this is a grand opportunity to right that. No, not to fix anything, when nothing’s really broken. The opportunity is to transform my thinking from not enough to not-enough-not. Sounds like fixing to me.
5:49am sunrise-NOT on Modjeska Place in Mar Vista, LA
The sun still sits behind the clouds and yet there’s plenty of sun light to be had. And it sounds to me, hearing a crack in my speaking voice, that my voice is best “heard” in reading – but who could bear to read 100 Journals of ya and duh?
5:49 sunrise-NOT from 59th Street in LA
I do bookkeeping as my Dad before me. He was fulfilled in his bookkeeping, seeking higher ground there. He was fulfilled to support his family and he didit very well. Thank you, Dad. Been there/done that – now be here/do this out of desirre to fulfill on my dreams, with intention. Intending to fulfill on my gifts from Spirit.I do bookkeeping as my Dad before me. He was fulfilled in his bookkeeping, seeking higher ground there. He was fulfilled to support his family and he didit very well. Thank you, Dad. Been there/done that – now be here/do this out of desirre to fulfill on my dreams, with intention. Intending to fulfill on my gifts from Spirit.
5:50 sunrise-NOT from Modjeska Place in Mar Vista, LA
Took the photo of the sunrise….again. Just because that’s what I do. Not that it’s a thing I “should” do, but simply because it’s a choice I made with Spirit. To see the sun’s Light, that’s all. To be aware of the Light in my life, now and again.
5:51am sunrise-NOT on 59th Street in LA.
So what if this world is perfect after all. My life in this world is perfect. Even without any fame or fortune. Do the leaves on the trees and the grains of sand on the beach need fame or fortune to be OK? I am, like them, a speck among many. Here for a nano-second of eternity and then transmuted into some other form of energy. So what’s to write about that? About life as a speck? Just that. Maybe that is enough.
It’s probably not for me to write any sort of how to. I don’t know how to anything. “How to Find the Soul (Using Your Dirty Mind)”? Well yeah maybe that.
5:53am sunrise-NOT at the Malibu Pier
So many pages saying I have nothing to say. Still not believing not that every word is golden but that all this writing is simply to reveal the rare pearl that strikes a chord within some unknown other bringing us all to our greater-yet-to-be.
5:54am sunrise-NOT at the Malibu Pier with a strong surf and many surfers to honor it.
It’s always there to remind me I am so not perfect. And I may choose to feel guilty about that- or NOT. I can just be here, perfectly imperfect, thank you very much.
5:55am sunrise-NOT at the Malibu Pier.
5:54am sunrise-NOT in LA
Just behind the clouds of all your yearning, Spirit shines bright.
I never figure it out too much. I feel like, as you're writing, you just find your way… I imagine different scenarios based on the things I was thinking about. …Sofia Coppola