Tuesday 6:42 Starbucks Cross Creek Kousha, Michael, Dawn, Frank and Arnie – like the good old days. Everybody tells me about the magnificent colors I missed being 5 minutes late. How can I stay in bed all that awful time planning what’s wrong with the day. I could just skip all that and GET UP! And I…stopped right there to e-Ida the great sunrise I showed up for.
Yes I may skip the dawn gloom. When I choosse it to be and I choose NOW. Oh my, gotta pee. Breathe through. Just breathe through. Not rushing this day. Kathleen cancelled work today so she could catch upon entries I could do for her. Maybe she’s not ready for help and I get a day free to come here to Paradise. But I was late…stop that. I was right on time. The traffic was remarkably light after the 405/10 bottleneck. Yes I coulda/woulda/shoulda been earlier – but then I would have been right on time.
Acupuncture is all I have planned for this day. Texted Liliana that I am free today. Haven’t heard back. Melissa is disappointed in her procedure. Bless her to see the perfection she already is. Vanya said the weekend’s estate sale was the worst one ever. Hmmm. The numbers on the estatesales.org posting weren’t good either. Seems everybody “went away.” It rained and hailed even. No excuses. My hand seems to shake less today. Seemed to shake more yesterday. Let the chi flow today. See the bigger picture that allows for LATE sunrise photos. Refill? I got time. Then I’ll…STOP that planning to need to pee!
REFILL Living dangerously. I may even write down 1-2-3 pages with nothing to say. It’s not about story-telling for me. Like I know what it IS about.
Synchronicity I grabbed JK Rowling’s “new” book “Casual Vacancy” to have it in the car? For waiting time? OK Knew I didn’t know WHY as I grabbed it. Following guidance for its own sake. For my sake. Yes that feels very right. And I plow on to 2 then 3. Well I’ll see when I get there! And not one minute before. Not one moment early. Not One minute late. And I’ll hear from Liliana when I hear from Liliana.
Nope not one minute sooner. It’s called Divine Right Order. A new title for a new book to be written as best I can in the moment. In the sun-shiny bright moment.
OK Sulawesi dark roast coffee - wherever that is – Indonesia. Just think –not- about all the places there are just on this planet. All the places I can’t even imagine. All the things I cannot imagine right around the corner, near and far. Realizing that I may imagine anything. Or I may simply gape in awe at what is right before ne. At this magnificent place I happen to be right now – in Divine Right Order. Oh not, this divine moment! What’s so special here? Maybe Divine doesn’t mean special. Or perhaps Divine can only be special - the exact unfolding of what IS whether or not I or anyone else deems it special.
Ah thank You Lord – there’s Carl waving hello as he walks those dogs this special day. Checking for Liliana. And so holding her in the healing light. Yes I do still gotta poo so write faster. As if no one needs ever read it in order for it to need to be written. Picturing Kathleen’s where I’m not going. All in Divine Right Order. Don’t make a drama out of it. It is as it is.
That was the whole point of my dream. That we make it all up. There is what is and then there’s the story we make up about it. Casting ourselves as the star in any Academy Award winning role – with of course a handsome actor co-starring Thank You God for this being Justas we do. Oh my – another page and ¼ ? Liliana! Is she sleeping? Is she all right? OK /this IS IT. THE DIVINE RIGHT ORDER. To write one more page. Oh but I gotta gotta…write one more page.
About? Well I don’t know what. So I may draw squiggly things? Not right now. Make more big letters, keep this pen going, flowing in the flow of Divine Right Order. Where Frank reads, where baristas talk and music plays. And the sun shines bright on the mountains outside even when I don’t look up at them, keeping my nose to this last 2 lines of page 2.
Will I ever meet John deLancie? Are we meant to meet? Is there a Divine Right Order that includes that? Always seemed it could happen on a Tuesday. Or will he die before I get my chance? Will I? Waa sit ever meant to be that? Or am I simply to realize just how made up it all is? That my version is in Divine Right Order. The custom-designed handsome guide that’s been part of my life since Lt. Rip Masters. Perfect just as it is. Well all that’s fine but is it NOW? Is any other version of NOW possible? Absolutely YES. Since we make it up, all things are possible. That’s what GOD IS! All possibilities imagined or seemingly unimaginable. Life can’t get any better than this. Thinking I must transcribe this 1-2-3. Call it pivotal? It does not have to be pivotal, special or anything but the divine right order that it is.
8:06 PCH Oh yes we had a sacred prayer. Liliana was awakening from sleep when I woke her up. So yes. She claims confusion, confusing dreams. I told her I heard that as Knowing God. Knowing God can only be confusing. God is so much more than we can ever know. So there. Divine Right Order is confusing only as we see it, as we know it to the extent of our limited capacity to know. Thank you God for 1-2-3 pages to know You even for the briefest of nano-seconds. What am I to do? What am I to see? What am I to feel?
Traffic. Others. So many of us. Carl walks on by again without dogs this time. This IS it. This is Divine Right Order. Even if John deLancie never shows up in Reality – though right here and now I admit I want it to be so. And even that wanting is in Divine Right Order simply because it is. Amen